love story explaination

its about my brother and his gf. i thought their story was beautiful, so i wrote about it. she has a 2 year old son, avery he is very cute. i'm a little bit sick please keep me in your prayers:)

a love story

The very first moment I saw you your eyes were shining as the bright moon, my heart fluttered, and then sank. As I watched him sleeping I knew I could never have you. I love him, but I hated that I couldn’t have the happiness I had dreamed of. Then one day I saw in your smile something I hadn’t seen before, and I thought maybe...just maybe your heart had fluttered too. You started coming around more and more and before I knew it I was totally swept up in you, and he got to come too. I started to see how much you loved us both, and again my heart sank. You are so amazing, too good for me, but so good for him. Rivers poured from my face and I broke down and told you to go. But then as I looked up from my sobs, I saw you were sobbing too. You didn’t want to go you wanted to stay, you love me and you love him, and we love you. Life is different now, we are us, three of us, and now when I go through the hard times, I never have to go alone again. Every moment I see you your eyes shine as bright as the moon and my heart flutters.

The very first moment I saw you your eyes were shining as the bright moon, my heart fluttered and then sank. As I watched you I knew you were too busy to be with me. Your love him, could there be any left for me? Then one day I saw in your smile something I hadn’t seen before, and I thought maybe...just maybe your heart fluttered too. I started to come around more and before I knew it I was totally swept up in you, in both of you. I started to love you both like I have never loved before. But then you started to be distant. Here was this beautiful thing I had wanted for so long and it was slowly moving away. I knew you didn’t want me anymore. Then one day you started sobbing, rivers were pouring from my eyes, it hurt me to see you like that and I sobbed too. I never want to go, I always want to stay, I love you and I love him, and I know you both love me too. Life is different now, we are us, three of us, and now when we go through the hard times, neither of us ever has to go alone again. Every moment I see you your eyes shine as bright as the moon and my heart flutters.

:)

God is awesome! although my grandparents are both so sick, and i am giong through a bit of a rough patch myself, all i can say is God is awesome. ever notice how amazingly He takes care of you when you need Him to? how you can be in a situation you would consider terrible and just know that you are goign to be ok, and you know that because God is in control. let go of the bad things you hold on to and give them to Him, He will take care of you guarenteed:) thank you LORD! thank you for my smile:) thank you for everything you give me every day! thank you for holdin gme and my future in your hand and thank you for having a good and perfect plan for my life!

cancer cancer everwhere.

i think i hate blogs now. there is jsut too much cancer in mine. ok, well my grandpa had his check up at princess margret in TO yesterday, and his counts were all low. so normally this would automatically mean the leukemia is back, however because he is on the experimental drug glevax, and they don't know enough about it to say for sure or not, it coule be the drug pulling his counts down, only 20 people are on the drug, and 1 has died thus far. there are no blast cells(cancer cells) in his blood which is good, but they took a bone marrow sample yesterday and we will know if it is cancer or not on monday or tuesday. so please be praying it isn't the leukemia back, and its just the effects of the drug he is on to treat the cancer.

also, apparently there is an oncologist who will be seeing my grandma, her doctor refered her to him to see if there is anymore he can do. please pray there is. but even if there isn't its so nice that they are trying so hard. often times they just say we are sorry there is nothing we can do and thats that. also, my grandma's roommate was a christian so thats awesome!

well thats enough cancer for today. i hope you all are doing well, and please remember to pray!

a prayer

"Father God, may I never forget to call on you in every situation. I want to call on you every day of my life and bring before you my adoration, confession, thanksgiving and suplication..." (Emilie Barnes, 15 minutes alond with God). i read this tonight, and it really means something to me, cuz as i have found in the past, i often don't go to God first in situations, i am learning though, and last time something good happened to me God was the one i wanted, thanked, and was happy with:) thank You LORD for helping us to change!

grandma was feeling better today a bit. if everything stays smooth she goes home tuesday. hopefully i get to see her tomorrow!

my cousin broke his leg and so might be comming here for me to take care of him cuz his mom has to help with grandma. please pray for him as well, he has to go in for leg surgery next week, and had finally found a job and loved it. he has had a tough life. his dad isn't very nice to him. he was at his dad's house when he broke his leg, and his dad told him if he was stupid enough to break his leg he can find his own way to the hospital. the next day he started getting sick, and so he called his mom to come in and take him. :S:S his whole life his dad has treated him like this. he also has a drug problem, so please pray about that. also pray that God will help me to talk to him about God if he comes here to stay a few days, which i really hope he does.

God is good!

well i was supposed to go see my grandma today, but it got changed to tonight....and so i can't go because i have choir practice:( if the next available time i can go see grandma falls on our other choir practice, saterday, i will skip that practice. at least i get to go grocery shoppign today.

last night i had an amazing night. i got to see how faithful God is, and is was so amazing! He knows us so well, He knows what we need, and when we need it. thank You LORD!
Proverbs 27:1
"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth."

I think it can also work with do not dread tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Why are we scared? we don't know what God has planned for us tomorrow! He is amazing and faithful, and isn't out to get us. He has a plan for our lives and its in accordance with His goos and perfect will, so we relaly have no need to fret!

thank you all for your prayers, please keep praying for my grandma, and please pray that i know what to say when i see her. xo

grandma

well...she survived the surgery. the got as much as they could. there is still some cancer in her liver and small intestine and something about lymphnodes. he said she has a year, maybe 2. so thats super sad...just keep her in your prayers please.

life

when life get hard and scarey, where shall i turn? when my fears over take me and the pain is unbearable, how do i cope? when my heart and tummy hurt, when emptiness fills me up, where do i look for help? "I will lift up my eyes to the hills-from whence comes my help? my help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1,2.

my grandma has her surgery today, please keep her in your prayers.

update

ok, well easter was interesting today. it was sad because grandma looked to sad and scared and so i almost cried a couple of times. it was happy because my cousin is very pregnant now, and looks so beautiful. and it was weird cuz my cousin jenna brought a friend who is a slightly round girl with a larg chest and who was wearing a SKIN TIGHT STRAPLESS SHIRT.....to meet our family...including our grandparents in....it was the most horrible/hillarious sight i have seen in a while. strange girl... it was a bbq, and we took lots of pictures...so that part was fun. and it was nice enough that we could sit on the back deck in the sunshine.

after easter at grandma's we came home and i went out with my friend victoria. we went to the movies in cobourg and saw ice age 2 hahahahaha soooo wonderful, i highly reccomend it! highly! i think i'd go again! any takers? hehe . on our way home we saw balloons stuck to a sign...well...we turned around an di went to get the balloons(yes i know bad nicole) anyway i couldn't pull them off, it was like 20 lb test fishing line....so....i CHEWED through...yeah...thats right...right there on the side of the road...lol then we drove home...and to the gas station with balloons in the back seat...i left them in the kitchen with a note for my mom saying i did it for her...haha.

so then, i got home and had a proverbs date with sarah. i love those dates. its such an amazing book...like the rest of the Bible. i really appreciate the time i spend with her though, she is a good friend, and its always nice to grow closer to God with a friend by your side to help you out and keep you accountable and be prayign for you.

grandma's surgery is still on monday as far as we know. she got an infection in her arm from the last iv she got and so she is on super antibiotics right now, but its clearing up fast and so surgery should be a go. please be praying for her, her surgery is at noon on monday, and last about 2 hours. please pray that they don't find any other cancer in her, and that she pulls through. thank you all so much for your continued prayers. :)

easter

well, since grandma has surgery on monday, we are having our family easter this weekend. its strange...it seems like only yesterday we were pushing father's day ahead so we could have it before grandpa went in for his treatment after his relaps. i ask that you would pray that my grandma be in good spirits for this family easter gathering...which will be a bbq this year, and pray also that the whole family can make it.

i could also use prayers for my self, as i work to strengthen my walk with God. a friend and i are having a mini lent, and i would really appreciate your prayers over the next 9 days as i work through the book of proverbs. thank you all. God is amazing! "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. do not be wise in your own eyes fear the LORD and depart from evil." (proverbs 3:5-7, nkjv). i am learning so much! praise the LORD!

also, the first after school club was today. it was fantastic! we got 9 kids out!! we watched the easter story, hannah barbara version, but it was pretty good. of course Jesus has strawberry blonde hair,a nd very blue eyes, and all the priests looked liek bad guy wizards with bad guy voices, lol but othere than that it was great. "take this and drink from it, it is my blood which will be given up for you and for MANY." i was super impressed. anyway we had snack, asked what the kids thought of when they heard the word easter(interesting answers) then watched the video, and did a craft which was making easter cards for thei parents, and of course everyone did a fantastic job! thank you for your continued prayers for the after school club! the next meeting will be april 19, and we are hoping for even more kids!

grandma update more

well....it wasn't the terrible news i guess. they are going to operate....on monday:s so thats super soon. we are having easter this weekend, on saterday so that she can have easter with us. she will be in the hospital for about a week after if all goes well. he is going to try to remove it, but he said he doens't konw if there is more cancer because the tumer is soooo huge that he cant see the other organs, so he wont be able to see until he opens her up. if its too bad he will just close her back up. if he can remove it, he will. he said it is a very high risk surgery, her lungs could fail or she could have a heart attack. so please be prayign for her. my mom is upset cuz of my dad's work he will be in cincinatti from monday until thursday so thats really stressfull for her...maybe pray that his work will cancel it, or htat he can get out of it because of the circumstances. apparently my grandpa isn't looking so well so please pray for him too. this is the first time he has found out how bad it is. so please keep praying for my grandma, and my family, and for the doctor that he has wisdom and ability. thank you all for your prayers.

grandma update

my grandma was supposed to have a doctor's appointment on thusday. however, this got pushed ahead to tomorrow at 4:30. this is when she will get the results of the CT scan. the results are either bad, or really really bad. so please pray that the cancer is only in her bowel, and that it is opperable. this is pretty scarey. she has been going through all her stuff...she gave back all the pictures we have all given her through the years. so yeah...she expects to not make it i think....i have a feeling of peace. but still, please pray for her, and for my family, especially my grandpa because he doens't deal with these things well. neither of them are Christians, nor is anyone in my family except for my grandpa's sister. so please for for them. thank you ya'll. i hope everything is well with you guys.

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dear reader:
to answer your question, i will try my hardest to never give up on you. God is in control, He gives strength. lean on Him if you are struggling. He will guide you. He will guide me.

a day at val's

so i went to val's yesterday. firstly may i say that all three, val, lael, and aria, are all beautiful. dennis...you will never get your own again unless while talking to them you refuse to look at their beautiful faces. next, i think that val is a great mom, and i think the girls would agree. lastly, i had such a fun time. we just chaaed for a bit until lael got up from her nap, then we wondered around zellers, fun! spent no money but roamed...it was even exercise! lol then we went back to their house and chatted a bit, and had some pizza, then they took me home...through the thickest fog ever!! lol...we made it though and i sent her home a different way. i love talking to val. sure she is married and has 2 kids, and i am super alone:P but i feel like i connect with her. dear val, i love you! you are a great friend, thank you for having me over:). and lael, keep on wiki tikiing. :)