ok then

mom says that i am getting my blood tests done on friday now...pushed back but still...i have to get stabbed. i wish i knew why i needed an ultra sound done...this is kinda' scaring me...plus can i do physical activity? i don't know...ach. i feel so horrible and tired and i have so much work to do...please pray for me!!!

ok what?

i have now decided that i want mono. eye infection stomach problems blood tests what?!?! and what? ultra sound on my abdomen with attention to my left kidney?!?! pardon? what is that? am i dying or something? give me the mono instead....suddenly it doesn't seem so bad at all... i hate needles...i don't want to go get blood tests tomorrow....will someone go gor me? ach....thats all for now. ok mom called me and said i can't get my tests done until friday now cuz my little brother justin has basketball tomorrow in ptbo' and his coach needs my mom to drive...ach...ridiculous.

sick? what?

so tomorrow i am going to the doctor to get tested for mono i guess...or at least to get checked out...i hate this game. i don't want mono i don't have time for it at all...not to mention that i have to get a needle to see if i have it! blood tests? whats that? can't they just use spit or something?? thats how you transfer it right? yep...this game sucks. and no physical activity...nothing...no running, to wrestling with my brothers, no boxing, no hiking through the bush, no catching snakes or frogs, no walking, playing with, or training my dog, no lifting of anything even a little bit heavy....yeah....gee how fun...i do not want this sick. can i trade someone else for their sick? anyone got some chicken pox, or a flu they want to trade off for? or how about i just postpone the mono until i have time to have it? i am still hoping i will wake up in the morning and it will be gone....and it will be just a coinsidence that i had these symptoms, and its not mono at all. pray for me!!! and pray that if it is mono i didn't spread it to everyone else in the world. night ya'll i have to go do work and then sleep forever...oh and p.s. eating feels horrible and i want to throw up.

mm hmm

we went shooting with courtney today after choir...so today was fun....not so much the shooting part, but the shooting the hand gun was fun....the best part though, was watching people shoot who have never shot a gun before. it was exciting. everyone should shoot a gun at least once in their lifetime. i found today that closing my eyes helped me to hit the target...meh....that gun was little and scarey. ok so falling off of fences...not the most fun game in the world...ha...why don't i listen to people when they tell me to not wear my filp flops? stupid shoes...it was amusing though...falling off of that good old fence...then it turns out we didn't even need to climb at all because of the big huge gate we could have gone through...grrr. anyway...i am trying to do some work here....anyone have any input on romans 11? bed time is definately comming early tonight, i am beat...old age sucks. i am going to miss ross and leanne...drama was a great part of my life...and what on earth am i going to do with all this weird energy if i can't get it out through acting? ach. acting has been part of my life for so many years...its gonna' be weird not doing it. maybe i will just make real life like tv. well i am off to do some work now. but in closing i would liek to say i am still crazy about mattymac...but not in the sick way heather is...ew(kidding)...in a different way...in a i would help you move the body way. mm hmm....the end. p.s. holly panabaker is getting married.

mm hmm

nicki hates the internet....and can we blame her? no. it hates her first...infact...here is a little secret...it hates us all...in varying degrees. i am so excited about PK and dorthy!! yay another kerr!!! excitement! and brad and tanya? yay! so weddings and babies all around!!! my turn yet? maybe soon....i gave PK a list i made of things composing the perfect husband...so maybe he can recruit someone for me when he moves! lol yeah....anyway i am already crazy about mattymac....but who isn't....he is soooo dreamy! anyway....thats it for me for now! love you all!

ach

last night's drama went pretty well....it was the last one ever:( i can't believe ross and leanne are leaving! its so sad....drama has been an awesome experience for me in my three years at klbc. i am so sad its over. i helped lead music last night....that went ok....but i really wish i could hear out of both ears....will i ever get better? or do i learn to live with it? ach. ever notice how some things just aren't the same without certain people around? yeah...i have. i am getting so excited for mark and lindsay's wedding...it is going to come quick! hmmm anyone know when it will be my turn? ok i guess God does. we listened to this message last night in the van on the way back from barrie....i forget who the guy was ask ross. it was on trusting God, not being worried. check out psalm 37, matthew 6:33-34, and philippians 4:6. do not be anxious. do not fret. do not worry. God is in control folks! "every morning i wake up and i ask myself two questions, 1. is God as worried about today as i am? if the answer is yes i take two prozak and go back to bed. but the answer is never yes, its no. and the second question is if God isn't worried about today than why shoudl i be?" that was from the message last night in the van....isn't it great!?!?! we don't have to worry, God has our lives planned....He knows what He has for us, and He doesn't worry! so then....why do we?

ok so i am super excited about mark and lidsay's wedding!!! and i get to be in it!! yay!! that has kept me excited for days. and here is what has been dragging me down...does anyone out there think its ok for boys to hit a girl in any circumstancs? if so when...and why? and why do i trust anyone ever? i really want this year to be over. of course there are people i am gonig to miss a lot, like luke...he will be in far away land for what will seem like forever. good friends are hard to come by and often times imposters sneak in. guard your hearts folks and keep your eyes on Jesus. and when a good friend does come along, treat them awesome. do as i say not as i tend to do. i sure could use a hero right now...is there anyone out there who will come make everything better?